Captain And The Merry Band Of Minions
by Zee Captain's Loyal Pokemon
Summary: My vision started to go but I'm not sure if it was because of the toxic air, the lack of food, the freezing winds, or a combination of all three. I saw a figure in the distance coming toward me, looking like nothing more than a blur with blue piercing circles that I could only imagine to be eyes and a red blur a few shades brighter then blood.(Constructive criticism always welcome)
1. Lost All Hope

**ENTRY 113_34 – HUMAN SUBJECT EMILY GRAYSON – PERSONAL ID 04561359**

All there was was white. I've never seen so much snow, not even after the world turned into the frozen waste land it is today. I tried to walk but alas, my efforts were futile. Ever step I took I stumbled, my face meeting the ice and snow. I've finally given up all hope; my stomach felt like it was caving in from hunger. The last moments I had in this fallen empire I wanted to breathe air that wasn't passed through a filter before going to my lungs. I took off my mask and breathed in the bitter cold air. It was less toxic then I imagined. It smelled like… like pancakes…

My vision started to go but I'm not sure if it was because of the toxic air, the lack of food, the freezing winds, or a combination of all three. I saw a figure in the distance coming toward me, looking like nothing more than a blur with blue piercing circles that I could only imagine to be eyes and a red blur under the blue a few shades brighter then blood. Whatever it was, it was heading my way. Please, not another monster. I don't want to die like this. Let the noxious fumes kill me before the monstrosities of this dead earth get the chance. Please not this way.

I couldn't even sit up anymore. My vision failed me the rest of the way and I passed out.

_Am I dead? Did that thing kill me?_ I was re-entered the world with a gasp, trying to gather as much oxygen as possible. Light hit my eyes all at once making me feel like I was under interrogation. My mask was back on my face. _What happened?_ I was moving. No, wait, was I being carried? I was over some ones shoulder. Of whose I did not yet know. My arms were swinging and I was still too weak to move. Who was this strange person? Where were they taking me? _Why_ are they taking me?

I blacked out again…


	2. A New Member

**ENTRY 105_45 – HUMAN SUBJECT CHARLES SNIPPY – PERSONAL ID 04477645**

Pilot was still trying to build a flying machine for Zee Captain. That fool wasn't going to give up, Captain ordered Engie to go find "a most delicious new base", and who knows where Captain was; probably out looking for Pokemon. I heard him call me his most promising Pokemon the other day. "TRAIN HARD MEIN JIGGLY MINION! ONE DAY YOU SHALL BE THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON OF THEM ALL!"

I managed to ditch Pilot. He and Captain would make up for the time lost of make my life miserable later but at the time it was nice to finally have some peace and quiet. Sadly it wasn't peaceful nor quite for long. My vacation was cut short by a blizzard that seemed to start out of nowhere. I decided to head back to the base. The snow was so thick that I could barely see two steps ahead of me.

As I kept moving and the snow started to subside, I saw something moving through the blizzard. A mutant perhaps? I went to go investigate with my gun in hand. All I needed was to be mauled by Pilot's giant "pet" monster, Photoshop. All I needed was to be chased by an over sized worm. Maybe being a snack would be better than having to deal with Captain after Pilot told him how I "disobeyed a direct order from the glorious Captain!" followed with how I should be a good minion and how "Captain is magic, like Harry Potter, but more magic". I'm starting to pray for Photoshop to find me.

I inched closer to whatever the creature was. Finally I was close enough to make out what only seconds before looked like nothing more than a spot on my lenses. It wasn't a mutant at all. In front of me was a girl lying unconscious in the snow, already partly buried due to the blizzard. Her gasmask was lying to her side but she still had their goggles on. "She surely must be dead" I thought until I saw an arm twitch.

I put her mask back on and picked her up. As I carried her back to base, I couldn't help but think even if this mystery women did live was I doing her a favor or a disfavor by having her join "Captain's merry band of minions"?

I reached the base with the mysterious stranger over my shoulder before the two buffoons and Engie did. I sat her down on what was left of a recliner chair. She still didn't move. I was starting to think I have saved an already dead body. Before I left the room to find food and to check if anyone was back yet I put a blanket that was lying on the side of the chair.

Maybe those fools were playing hide and seek and waiting for me to find them.


	3. The Welcoming Committee

**ENTRY 113_35 – HUMAN SUBJECT EMILY GRAYSON – PERSONAL ID 04561359**

I woke up in a daze and my head was throbbing. A German song welcomed me as I saw a tall man skipping into the room. Or was that a woman? What room was this anyways and how the hell did I get here?! The last thing I remember was snow and now I'm in a half decayed building sitting on what was left of a cushioned seat tucked in with a raggedy blanket as if I were a child. My vision was still coming back to me, slowly but surely. The tall one was wearing a black hat with a red strip on it and I black button-up coat that almost met with the army boots. Their mask had purple goggle lenses and they were holding a mug close to their body. Behind the tall one was someone a little shorter, copying the tall one's skips almost exactly. The follower was wearing a mask that didn't look like a normal gas mask. It actually looked like an old style mask a pilot would wear but the lenses were green. They reminded me of eyes that an insect might have. He had a katana sword holster on his back.

I tried to get up before they saw me. They looked like idiots but sometimes the most things that look the most harmless can be the most deadly. I learned that lesson from a radioactive rabbit that tried to nibble my leg off. That thing was fast too.

By the time I actually could stay on my feet it was too late. They spotted me and were heading my way. The follower saw me first and took out his sword. He held it up in front me. "Who are you?! I won't let you hurt my most glorious Captain!"

The only reply I could manage was a confused "Captain?"

"LOWER YOUR WEAPON MEIN NOBLE MINION. IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE A GUEST! WELCOME TO OUR LOVELY ABODE MA CHÉRIE." Male? Then he/she curtsied. No, Female. They had to be a female, right? It was hard to determine someone's gender when I was being threatened with a giant sword.

"But Captain, this shoe cannot be trusted!" the green lensed man whined. "Why are you here you shoe?!" I guessed he was talking to me because the sword came closer to my face.

"PILOT DON'T BE RUDE TO OUR GUEST!"

"B-but Captain…."

"NEIN MY LOYAL PILOT. PILOT GO FIND SNIPPY AND ENGIE! WE HAVE SOME CELEBRATING THAT MUST BE DONE!"

The one called Pilot stubbornly lowered his sword and made his way to the door, dragging his feet like an angry child having a temper tantrum. He was mumbling something under his breath about shoes being stupid or something.

"HELLO MEIN NEW FRIEND! I'M SORRY FOR PILOT'S MOST UNWELCOMING BEHAVIOR! IF YOU ARE HERE FOR A LONG TERM STAY WE HAVE A POSITION THAT JUST OPENED UP! TELL ME, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A GIANT PET WORM? SHE'S QUITE EASY TO TAKE CARE OF BUT WE NEVER FIND THE TIME. THE POOR THING IS PROBABLY LONELY. "

What the hell was he/she talking about? Giant pet worms? Where the hell am I? Probably the only other people that survived and they're completely insane!

From outside I could hear yelling.

"Come on! Captain wants you two too come inside!"

"Go away Pilot!"

"Stop being a shoe and come on! Why must you always disobey our most wonderful Captain?!"

"Ok, Ok I'm coming."

"Hey, let go! I can walk in myself!" a third voice said.

A few seconds later Pilot came back dragging two others with him. One had a jacket with a fuzzy fur lining on the hood and a gasmask with yellow lenses. The other had a black and white jacket, a scarf that was a few shades brighter than red, and blue….. Wait, I remember those blue lenses. He was the one that brought me here.

The one with the fur hood yanked his arm our of Pilots grip with force while the other stood calm and looked at me.

"Hey, you're still alive. Good to see."


	4. Captain's Pokemon

**CAPTAIN'S LOG 94**

TODAY WAS FABULOUS! A NEW POKEMON HAS ARIVED AT MY DOORSTEP! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THIS MUST GLORIOUS NEW MEMBER!

MAYBE SHE WILL BECOME AN EVEN MORE POWERFUL POKEMON THEN SNIPPY!

ALL IN GOOD TIME, THOUGH. ALL IN GOOD TIME!

MY POOR PILOT DOES NOT SEEM TO LIKE HIS NEW POKEMON SISTER! NO WORRIES! PILOT DIDN'T SEEM TO LIKE SNIPPY AT FIRST BUT NOW THEY'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!


	5. Surgeon Needed

**ENTRY 114_35 – HUMAN SUBJECT EMILY GRAYSON – PERSONAL ID 04561359**

Captain started calling me Surgie after I stitched up a tinny cut Pilot's stuffed toy bird got so Pilot would stop crying. "Mr. Kittyhawk needs medical assistance!" he said between sobs. When it was all over Pilot said his stuffed animal needed a band-aid as well. "He refuses to go back to bed until he gets a band-aid. He likes the ones with Superman on them."

"Where the hell am I supposed to find a band-aid with Superman on it at 2 a.m. in the morning?" I asked trying to hold back my frustration.

"The old Wal-Mart? He says Scooby –Doo band-aids would be acceptable too".

I tried to refuse but he wouldn't stop blubbering until I went to get them. I finally gave in; I wasn't going to be able to sleep with all that nonsense anyways.

So I sent on my mission to make that over-grown baby happy so I could finally get some sleep. When I entered the store a skeleton was there to welcome shoppers. His nametag said Steve on his nametag. "Hello Steve" I said will a warm smile. I must have been really tired.

I couldn't find the band-aids but I did find another skeleton named Steve. He was very helpful with telling me were the band-aids were.

After searching for about fifteen minutes I finally found the aisle where I found the band-aids. There were no Superman but I got the last box of Scooby-Doo. Mission accomplished! I took as many medical supplies as I could to eliminate any more late night shopping that I might have to do for that moron and his stuffed toy.

I went to the checkout to get bags to put the supplies in so they would be easier to care back to the base. I looked at the skeleton's nametag at the checkout and it also said Steve. Was every employ here named Steve?!

On the way back the bottom of the bags broke and all the supplies I managed to gather went every which way. I managed to save the Scooby-Doo band-aids though.

When I got back, Pilot was still crying but not nearly as loud. I gave him the band-aids.

"So there wasn't any Superman?"

With that I stumbled to what was left of a bed and passed out. I guess Pilot told Captain about the surgery I did on his stuffed animal because Captain in the morning at breakfast he announced my name was now Surgie.


	6. Playing With Knives

**PILOT'S DIARY 105**

Maybe this new minion isn't as much of a shoe then I originally thought.

Yes, she still is a shoe; this is true, but not as much as that horrible shoe shaped slug, Snippy. Oh how I hate that old, ratty flip-flop! But this new minion saved Mr. Kittyhawk from an injury that could have been grave!

My poor Mr. Kittyhawk could have died! I'm sorry Mr. Kittyhawk for not protecting you! At least now you know that playing with knives is a big no no!


	7. Photoshop

**ENTRY 118_39 – HUMAN SUBJECT EMILY GRAYSON – PERSONAL ID 04561359**

Captain is either a complete idiot or has a sick sense of humor! He sent me to feed Photoshop a can of food but it seemed like I was on the menu instead. That giant beast almost swallowed me whole. When I hear pet I don't think of a radioactive caterpillar that's as long as a subway train will what I could only guess to be about a few hundred teeth bigger than my head! I didn't stay to count.

When I came running back from the way Captain pointed me off to feed the beast. I heard him yell "HOW IS ZEE BEAUTIFUL PHOTOSHOP TODAY?"

I could contain my anger no longer. For some reason almost dying at the hand, well teeth, of a monster worm gets my feathers all ruffled. "You call that a pet?!" I yelled at him.

"IT SEEMS LIKE ONE OF MY PRECIOUS MINIONS AREN'T HAPPY" he said without moving, not even a flinch. His mask still appeared to have the same everlasting smile. I couldn't help but wonder what his facial expression was under his mask and if Captain is really a he at all.

I went into what was left of the building we call the base, still trying to catch my breath from running for my life. Snippy was in what used to be the kitchen putting away cans of food in a cabinet that's door nearly came off each time you tried to open it.

"Did you know Photoshop was a-" was all I got out before he cut in. I guess I was taking too long to finish my sentience because I was gasping between ever breathe. Running for my life took a lot of me.

"An oversized monstrosity? Yeah, I knew."

"What!? And you didn't warn me!?"

He shrugged "If I warned you then you wouldn't do it. If you didn't do it then I would have to."

"I hate you." I glared at him, wishing he could see the hatred on my face. If only I had those damn Emotive-Goggles that Snippy had.

"I found more edible food." His goggles made the emotion that looked somewhat like fear and he raised a can of vegetables, as if to bribe me not to kill him, as if a reminder that I actually need him to survive.


End file.
